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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in clintpatty's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, February 16th, 2009
    7:07 pm
    I recently got a haircut. Now my hair is pretty short and I don't have dreads. I'm the happiest I've been in a while right now. I'm not sure why. School is going well. My thesis proposal progress and GIS class are both good. I like most of the people at school too. I'm still trying to figure out the social dynamic. I've been having a good bit of coffee lately. I think I'm going to take a break. I'll need to dedicate to that before I do it. But I'm not sure I care enough. My fat loss is going ok, and I've been working on improving it. My upper body strength is better, not just better relative to bodyweight. It would be nice to lose about 5lbs of fat by the end of this month. I doubt it. If I get sexybeast abs, I'll have to admit to myself that my abs haven't been holding me back from getting a girlfriend, my personality has and is.

    I guess it's time for a new paragraph. I have a fellowship for grad school. A&M still hasn't paid me. I'm trying to get that worked out. It's not anything with the department, either. I'll have to quit drinking coffee due to the money instead of having to decide to stop if they don't shape up soon. There's a bunch of crap to deal with that UAH did not have.
    Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
    3:50 pm
    I've posted on here before that I wonder if I define myself too much by what I oppose. I don't want to do that. I'm lazy more often than I would like to be. I admire people that are more driven than me and relentless in doing the work it takes to get there when it's a goal that doesn't harm others. I don't know many people like that, though. That's a large part of the reason I like metal. I've wanted to do more schoolwork over break. I didn't finish A History of God or East of Eden. I haven't done as much on my thesis proposal as I wanted, but my professor hasn't got back to me as much as I wanted either, so oh well on that. This paragraph was kind of all over the place.

    I don't know what I'm looking for now in my relationships with people. I'd like to have more friends. Close womenz friends have always worked out better than guys. I haven't made many new close friends in a while, though. People in grad school are somewhere between fellow students and coworkers, and I'm still trying to understand that. I haven't had a relationship in a while, and I've never really had a successful one that lasted a long time. Intermittent first or second dates haven't gone so well either. I used to be opposed to hook ups. Opposed in the way that I didn't want to do it, not generally anti, though. I don't know if I still am. I don't know if I should pursue that or not to help find out. Smoking infrequently helped me to not be one of 'those' non-smokers. Should I try for that with fat girls? Ugh.
    Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
    3:56 pm
    I am going to lose 10 pounds.
    Monday, November 3rd, 2008
    11:46 am
    Thursday, October 30th, 2008
    2:16 pm
    Saturday, September 6th, 2008
    8:25 pm
    bye Lightning
     we miss you

    Thursday, July 31st, 2008
    3:19 pm
    I'm going to run the Cotton Row 10k in under 40 minutes in 2009.
    Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
    6:43 am
    UAH Twilight 5k race report
     x-posted to [info]runners. I had not ran much in July prior to the race on the 19th. A couple of times I tried, including the race course, but it was just not in me. I don't know what was up. I know it wasn't dehydration. Maybe I needed to be eating more. Or maybe it was the hiking at work, such as a trail with ~800ft vertical that I hiked up hard to get to the spot where I was working and felt like I had ran a 5k when I got there. I also don't have regular internet access now, so I haven't been posting much. I'm requesting any good advice on not getting nauseous. It's kind of long, but here is the ( race report )
    Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
    8:29 am
    I don't have home phone or internet access now. I also don't have cable or a television, but I won't be getting those. I don't like not having internet all the time. I can't get the radar or weather forecast or current conditions, use a dictionary, map a run or bike ride, etc that I'm used to doing. But the library is about 1.5 miles away and UAH with longer hours is like 3.5. Right now I'm at gramma's which is 16, but I was here anyway to mow the yard. My mom, aunt, and gramma are all on the cell phone plan. On their plan I can get a phone, pretty good phone service, texting, cellular internet, tethering ability so I can use the phone's internet through the computer, GPS (full featured GPS), and more. That is ~$800/yr with the phone and service. It is a 2 year contract. I can afford $70/month now, but I really need to decide how much I need it. I don't yet know if I'll be able to afford it during school. That is 1 FULL day of work. I would need to decide if I care that much about it, but more important is how many full days of work will I have to spare during school? I don't yet know if I'll be able to pay my rent. Mom says she'll help if I can't, but I gotta financially act like I'm on my own even if my full time job of school that doesn't pay keeps me from doing it later.
    Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
    8:55 am
    ( yay garden )
    Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
    1:55 pm
    Monday, June 2nd, 2008
    10:06 am
    I've been wanting to read Hardcore Zen for a while. No local library has it though, and I'm not sure I want to read it bad enough to buy it. I haven't yet tried reading it at a bookstore. I read some of the free preview online today. It talked about holding everything equal/not valuing anything over another. That includes holding any politician or political party above another or caring about preserving the environment. Later I went on a bike ride in Hampton Cove barefoot and with no head covering to feel the wind in my hair. I like that better than riding with a cycling cap and helmet. I saw the fancy houses and how close they are together and the cars and such. Pursuing zen (but I guess it's not really something you pursue) or whatever that book was talking about would mean valuing those houses as much as an off grid cabin with a nice lot and food growing in the yard. It would mean valuing a luxury SUV as much as my bicycle. It's not adopting a Hampton Cover aesthetic, but it's abandoning any aesthetic. And I'm not up for that. It seems sort of like giving your life over to Jesus. You need to abandon all pride and selfishness and hope, and maybe even your soul, first. Maybe I need to be more ready to abandon stuff like that for any fulfilling spiritual aspect of my life. I don't know if I'm just not ready for it or I don't want it.
    Sunday, April 20th, 2008
    9:46 am
    Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
    9:31 am
    I had 400mg+ of caffeine yesterday to try to help with the bike ride from gramma's since it is proven to boost performance. The way it made me feel reminded me of what 15_characters described. It also reminded me of anti psychotic type stuff that removes moods and desires. I felt like sitting around. And I didn't really feel like doing much else. I didn't feel stimulated from it or sleepy, just lazy I guess. The previous day I had been feeling pretty invigorated by the bike ride there in the morning. Then I was like ooo nom nom coffee and had 2 small cups. The feeling was kind of gone after that. That was even after a couple of days of not much caffeine. I wonder if caffeine has been incorporated too much into my mood or even demeanor. I'm having a little bit today since I did yesterday, but I'm cutting this stuff out of everyday use, even if it is just green tea.
    Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
    11:30 am
    My roommate had his head unit in his car and some other stuff stolen Monday night out of his car. He wasn't very happy about that. But then he realized that they also took his backpack. That means not just schoolbooks but also notebooks with the semester's worth of notes like 2 weeks before finals. That is foul. That might be a step below bike theft, certainly for people who only ride their bikes around campus. So if you did that, that was pretty lame, but could you at least return the notebooks. I promise you won't get as much for them as the textbooks.
    11:16 am
    I had that cup of green tea. That was it for caffeine last night. Then I went to sleep fairly early and reluctantly got up at 6:30. I think my solution to the Wagner problem on the paper is to just not cover Wagner very much. I've only given him about 3 paragraphs, one of which is on Tristan und Isolde, and I don't think I did a very good job. And I'll specify that I'm not covering him much since he was the only one mentioned in the textbook. The Brecht section is not surprisingly going well.

    I wanted to cover symbolist and minimalist opera as wholes, not focus on individuals like earlier in the paper (the Encyclopedists were treated as one individual). I have one paragraph on minimalism. It's tough to find info on symbolism that isn't really in depth on focused on individuals, but there is enough variation within those that I can't pick one representative or most important person. Brecht isn't all that important, but I picked him anyway, mainly because I knew I could do a good job. When I copied it over to a Word document and formatted it, it wasn't even a full 6 pages. I need 8-10. The teacher specified Times New Roman 12pt double spaced, so I can't do Courier New 11pt 2.1 spacing with 1cm margins (~0.79in) like would be helpful. I only have intro and conclusion to add and Brecht to finish. That is not going to make it 8 pages. I don't like minimum length requirements that make me have to write a paragraph of crap when I could have gotten it across in 2 succinct sentences.
    Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
    5:14 pm
    I want a cup of green tea. I was thinking I'd take a break from caffeine now because I've gotten addicted again. For the last few days I've had less caffeine. I had some coffee and tea Saturday but not past 2pm. Sunday I had some tea and pills that contained 180mg caffeine really early in the morning before climbing Blowing Cave and that was it for the day. Yesterday I had 1/2 cup of cocoa total and just a bit of java mate for consistency in the first 2 meals of oatmeal. That was it for stimulants. I had no serious amount of yerba mate or dimethylamylamine or anything. This morning I had like 3 cups total of java mate iced from Sunday and 150mg caffeine from pills. There was also some yerba mate in the pills (and rhodiola yay). Then I rode hard and haven't had any caffeine today. I was feeling the lack for the past 3 days.

    I could be anal about it and have no caffeine to stop being a drug addict. It would be even more difficult because I have a paper due tomorrow, a big term paper Thursday, and a test Thursday. Or maybe that's silly and I should wait until after Thursday. I would be working on the term paper now but I don't know what to do.

    I need to do the section on Wagner. I need a book on his ideas about opera. The UAH library doesn't have one. There was one about his works that showed some of his theory in the works, but it was way above my head as far as musical knowledge required. 2 books have chapters, but they're not very good and not enough for this paper because Wagner was really important. He wrote at least one book on it, but I can't get it online so far. The UAH library may have some decent stuff written by him, but it's not translated if they do.
    Friday, April 4th, 2008
    6:14 pm
    Thursday, March 27th, 2008
    11:03 pm
    Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
    10:34 am
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